


Not Forgotten

by ChandlersDemon



Category: Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Anxiety, Both girls are depressed af, Depression, F/F, Former Friends, Former Girlfriends, Hurt/Comfort, Janis deserves better, One-Shot, Regina was a bitch, Self-Harm, Space Predator, send help, still in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 19:30:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16540748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChandlersDemon/pseuds/ChandlersDemon
Summary: "I don't think that's what you want, Reggy.."Hearing her former nickname, Regina's heart cracked and she nodded her head as she looked away. Tears forming in her eyes that she had kept at bay for so long.





	Not Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> ~Hey Scrunchies 
> 
> I apologize for all of the depressing stories lately, I just don't have the strength or motivation to write any smutty stories. We'll get back to that point eventually, but this week is practically just going to be a week where I have absolutely nothing but depressing stories that pretty much depict my life. I'm literally making an entire series and it's gonna be depressing as all hell. 
> 
> Anyways, I mentioned self-harm. It's not full on to where the girls are actually cutting themselves in the story. Just making that clear because I know vivid descriptions of self-harm can seriously trigger some people. (Cough MeButIStillWriteItCough) 
> 
> Other than that, step into my life for a bit. I pretty much relate to both girls here, Janis mostly, but I've been on Regina's end too. The writing time might be really long or really short. Depends on if I end up breaking down while writing it. -Shrug
> 
> ~Carry on  
> -Chandler

"You seriously think you can just waltz over here and get what you want?" 

Janis looked at Regina with anger clear in her hazel eyes. A strong hatred was found within them, it burned like hellfire as she glared at the platinum blonde. It was only the start of the day and yet Janis wished the day had never started. Her day already started with Cady blowing her off for The Plastics and Damian was at home sick. Regina George striding up to her, demanding her old jacket, was definitely something she didn't want to hear. The pain lined her eyes, but it was hidden and overlapped by the raging fury. 

"I've asked for it more than once now, and I always get what I want." 

Almost snorting at Regina's words, Janis shook her head, folding her arms as she leaned back against the tree she sat against. It had been her decision to eat outside, get away from the school and skip for most of the day. School to her didn't mean much, her art class was all that really stuck out to her and even then, she still lacked a care for academics. Rolling her eyes as Regina began to tap her foot, she almost hugged herself as she averted her gaze. The autumn breeze blew by and out of her peripherals she could see the girl in pink shiver. Her eyes dulled as she allowed her eyes to rest on the distant gym class that had begun to run the track. Distant memories slowly entered her head, but Regina ripped them out as if she were disgusted. 

"Where's my jacket, Janis?" 

Hearing her name roll off of the girl's tongue almost made Janis frown. She kept her stoic look, kept the act going as she simply shrugged, watching the jocks dash ahead from the crowded lanes on the track. Her lip quivered for a moment as she kept her eyes away from Regina's icy blue gaze. She didn't want to look at her. Everything was coming back to her mind and this was the last thing Janis wanted to deal with. An exasperated sigh left the blonde before her, and Janis tilted her head, looking up at Regina. 

"Where is-" 

"I don't know, Regina!" 

Cutting her off before she could even speak, Janis threw he hands up. She was sick of getting interrogated. It as the first time the girl had come to talk to her alone in ages. Probably because she wanted to keep it on the down low that they used to actually be friends. The thought alone made Janis' stomach fall into a pit at the remembrance. They used to be friends..

_**We** used to be something, Reggy.._

Noticing the hostility radiating off of Janis, Regina sighed as she kept the girl's hazel glare. While it was annoying to have the girl staring at her constantly, burning holes in the back of her head throughout her day, it was more annoying to her her watching her every move in that moment. Regina knew that she had no right to come back into the brunette's life and demand for an old jacket back. Hell, she wasn't even sure Janis had it anymore. In the back of her mind all of the insults she had thrown at her past friend, all the hatred she had started throughout the school.. The rumors about how Janis Ian was a no good space dyke.. Regina had almost started to believe it herself as she kept Janis' steady glare, her own icy blue eyes dulling shortly. She'd maintain her power, her control over the situation. No one in this hell hole of a school could take that from her, Regina George was the Apex Predator, and that would never change.. Even if she happened to be talking to an old friend that used to have an advantage over her..

"Alright." 

Promptly, Regina shrugged and brought herself to sit down next to the artistic girl. Janis was clearly bewildered as Regina saw the girl's hazel orbs widen out of her peripherals. The act alone made her smile softly, but her head was turned to where Janis couldn't see the corner of her glossed lips curl up. A familiar feeling swept through Regina for a short moment as she straightened her back. Her eyes followed Janis' gaze, watching the vast students run track. She should be out there.. Not annoying Janis for an old jacket she wasn't even sure whether or not it existed anymore. Her place was in front of Gretchen and Karen, smirking at each boy that passed her and stared. Instead.. She let out a small sigh as she allowed herself to relax. Her image to Janis didn't need to be held, she had no reason to try and prove herself to the brunette beside her. Janis knew very well of what Regina was capable of. She went from being a nobody, to a somebody, to an ex somebody. It was a painful process, and now she was scorned and feared by some for her meager glare she'd shoot people for looking at her or going to call her a name. Janis had dealt with the pain throughout her freshman and sophomore year, they were Juniors now, but even then, Regina couldn't fathom the thought that this was all her doing. She had ruined Janis' life.. Before she could send herself spiraling down a hole, Janis' voice almost startled her as she spoke quietly. 

"Why now?" 

Regina didn't turn her head. She simply listened to Janis' pained words. The sorrow in her tone was moving, but Regina had to maintain her ground. Icy blue eyes burned with unshed tears as she continued to watch the class. Despite her unshed tears, she shrugged gently, her head tilting down as she closed her eyes. 

"After all this time.. Why do you want it now? I-I mean.. I know where it is, I haven't touched it in ages, but.. Regina, you left that jacket at my house six months ago..-" 

"I know what I did, Janis! I don't need a reminder, okay?" 

With how Regina raised her voice, Janis frowned as she pushed her arms further against her chest. She could feel the familiar sting that she  had grown used to, but it didn't seem right anymore.. It hurt like hell and she wanted closure. A final answer.. A reason.. 

_Why did you leave me..? Out me like some goddamn fool.. You said you loved, Reggy.._

Regina could feel the tears slowly slipping down her cheeks as she blinked. Her voice remained angered, her tone cloudy as she kept her eyes off of Janis. A sharp sting presented itself when she blinked her eyes once more, her hand going to rub her eye, knowing sh'd mess up her makeup. In that moment she almost didn't care.. Running her index finger beneath her eye, the action didn't go unnoticed by the artist. Frowning, Janis almost reached her hand out to turn the girl around. She could tell when Regina was crying. It never went unnoticed when they had been together all those months ago. Each scene played through Janis' mind like a broken record. It hurt like hell.. But she wasn't going to let that keep her from getting a proper answer out of the platinum blonde. 

"You're reminding yourself by coming looking for it. You did that yourself, I had nothing to do with th-" 

"It's a limited edition, premium, white faux leather jacket, I want it back, Janis." 

When Regina turned to face Janis, Janis could see the trails the tears had made. Regina's mascara had begun to run and Janis kept her frown as she shook her head. Watching Regina for a short moment, Janis noticed how the girl instantly turned her head as they made eye contact. A hand went over Regina's mouth as she stifled a cry and Janis sighed as she leaned off the tree, leaning forward towards Regina. 

"I don't think that's what you want, Reggy.." 

Using the platinum blonde's old nickname, Regina felt her heart crack as she nodded her head. Tears freely streamed down her face as she continued to nod her head, almost as if she were trying to prove to herself that that was why she had gone to see the older girl. A pained cry escaped through her lips and Janis was quick to take the girl in her arms. The familiar hold only made Regina cry more harshly as her arms were quick to wrap around Janis. A soft sigh left the older brunette as she allowed her hand to run through Regina's platinum locks, shushing the girl quietly as she soon let her head rest against Regina's. It had been ages since she had smelt the familiar perfume. She still wore the same thing.. Janis had smelt it countless times pushing her way by her in the hall, or when the girl pushed her against a locker to get her out of her way. A small smile almost curled at Janis' lips at the thought, but it was outweighed by the unfamiliarity of the way Regina pressed herself against her so fiercely as if she were going to deny her. The feeling alone of being able to hug the girl felt foreign, but with how harsh she held onto Janis, the girl couldn't help but feel slightly fearful. With how harsh her rises had become against her neck, Janis held her similarly, her hold remained lighter, but it still held the same want as Regina's. 

"All these tears.. Over a lost leather jacket?"

The small chuckle left Janis, trying to lighten the mood and she swore she heard Regina chuckle softly against her. A smile rested on Janis' lips as she kept her chin propped against Regina's head. The familiar feeling sent her back in time, and as much as she tried to stay in the present, it grew increasingly hard. The want to rest a small kiss against the girl's platinum locks, to slip her hands around her waist instead of her shoulders and promise her that no one was going to hurt her.. Regina had made her own bed, Janis wasn't going to lay in it. Her problems were her own, she didn't need Regina's.. The near hostility that clouded her mind disgusted her, but when she remembered what Regina had done to her, she pulled out of their hug, hesitant to look into Regina's eyes. 

There was something wrong, that was for sure, and it wasn't just that Regina had decided to skip her gym class to find Janis. The way Janis had pulled away so suddenly. It was like Regina had suddenly become frigid and would give the girl frostbite. The way Regina looked at Janis was full of sorrow and her eyes were lined with concern and fear. Trying to decipher the older brunette's feelings grew harder with each passing day they had been apart. She had begun hiding herself from the world, hanging out with that gay guy, Damian. Regina always thought he was sort of cool.. He had a good sense of fashion with how Janis flaunted with him during their homecoming dance. The remembrance of the dance alone made Regina's heart skip a beat as she averted her own gaze for a short moment. She could see Janis' eyes on her the minute she looked away, but when her eyes returned to the brunette, she had looked away near instantly. 

"Janis..?" 

Her voice was so fragile.. Janis kept her eyes locked on the football field ahead of them. She didn't want to look at Regina.. Didn't want to fall back into her web.. Fuck it hurt.. She could feel the way her stomach turned in on itself inside of her and the sting on her arms from how tight she had held Regina. She wanted them to stay like that.. But it wasn't possible. It could more than likely never be possible ever again, and that's what made Janis hurt. Janis didn't care about how she had to endure constant bullying for the rest of her high school year, nor how she was pushed against lockers every other day.. She came to live with that, it got easier with time and now no one even dared to touch her.. Hazel orbs could glare at someone and they'd shoot a name at her and go on their merry way. The thought made her let out a groan as she shook her head. A hand ran through her hair, her eyes closed tightly as she tried to get the thoughts out of her head. This wasn't a way to live.. She shouldn't miss Regina. She ruined her life..

_But she was the only girl to ever love me.. For me.._

"No, no.. No. We.. Regina.. I-" 

Noticing how much the girl was stuttering, Regina frowned as she slowly scooted forward. With how Janis pulled back to where her back rested against the tree, Regina stopped in her tracks. It was a sign for her to stay in place, so she would. Frowning she watched Janis, concern clouding her eyes as she ran a hand up her arm. The familiar sting was felt, but Regina managed to ignore it as she slowly came to rest her hand on Janis'. 

"Deep breath.." 

Her heart was racing and as Regina softly spoke the two words, Janis nodded her head as she followed her instructions. Her chest rose before deflating slowly, her breath shaky, but taken as she soon came to find Regina's eyes. The hand on her's made her jump slightly, but she calmed down enough to where when Regina entwined their fingers, she didn't pull away. A frown rested on Janis' lips as she looked into Regina's icy blues, they were soft.. Gentle.. Familiar. Taking Regina's hand in her own, Janis noticed the small smile resting on Regina's lips and slowly her own sad smile came to form. It was a familiar touch.. And my god did it hurt.. This would probably be the last time she touched her.. The last time she held her.. Why..? 

_"It hurts so much, Regina.."_

Hearing the words, Regina nodded her head gently as she ran her thumb over Janis' knuckles. She knew the pain.. How it hurt.. She knew exactly what it felt like, and Regina almost apologized because she knew she could never take it away.. How could she ever make what she did right? 

_"I know, Baby.. I know.."_

Janis' lip quivered as she shook her head, looking away as she used her free hand to cover her mouth. She didn't want to break. She didn't want to cry. Not in front of Regina.. It'd give her something to use against her.. But.. It didn't feel like that.. She.. Regina cared.. She had to! She wouldn't be here if she didn't! Everything was conflicting in Janis' mind, everything was so loud.. Nothing seemed quiet and it wasn't until she felt lips connect with her wrist that her eyes shot wide open. The soft touch against her covered wrist was alarming, she almost pulled away, but it was so soft that it didn't hurt. With sad eyes, she went to pull her arm away, but when Regina's delicate hand slid her sleeve up, she was stuck in place, looking at her own work. Cuts lined her wrists, most going straight across, up until the bend in her arm. They stung like hell and Regina could tell that they were only a few days old. When Janis pulled her hand out of Regina's, the platinum blonde frowned as she looked at Janis, pain lining her eyes. Something snapped in Janis and she pulled her sleeve back down, looking away as she snarled out her words. 

"Don't act like you suddenly care. I'm pathetic, I know. I don't need you to remind me." 

The harsh words that left Janis weren't much of a surprise to Regina, although they mildly annoyed her, she knew she deserved them. She wasn't going to make fun of the girl, she wasn't going to degrade her. Regina had absolutely no reason to be a hypocrite. Shaking her head quickly, Regina reached for Janis' hand. When she was bale to take it, she turned Janis' head to her quickly. The pain and fear lining her icy blue eyes made Janis stop for a moment as her heart slowed its beating, time slowing down as she rested Janis' hand on her stomach. The hem of her shirt was slightly curled up and Janis felt her heart skip a beat as she listened intently, Regina's hand guiding her actions. 

"You're not pathetic.. You never were and you never will be. I'd be a hypocrite for saying so.." 

Allowing the girl to slowly lift up her shirt, Janis' eyes instantly went wide and it was like she was shot in the heart. She could feel nothing but pain as she looked upon Regina's once fair skin, to see cuts of all sizes and shapes covering the girl's stomach. Shooting along her tone abs, diagonal, horizontal, vertical..One was stitched up and Janis put a hand over her mouth as she looked. It wasn't professionally sewn, that much she could tell, her fingers slowly grazed along it and with how Regina winced, Janis shook her head. Tears began to slip down her eyes as she just shook her head. No matter how much she shook it and how many tears blurred her vision, with each blink the cuts on Regina's stomach remained. She wanted to believe that it was all some sick hallucination from all the drugs she had been forced to take. Regina George didn't care about a lowlife like Janis Ian. At one point they may have been girlfriends, but Regina didn't care. She left Janis to deal with her problems alone, battling her depression, anxiety, everything! She left her! This.. 

"No.. No,no,no,no,no.." 

Taking Regina gently by her neck, Janis let her sobs rack her body as she held Regina close to her. Knowing that her stomach was now a battleground, she rested the girl's head against her shoulder. Holding her so gently that it was almost like a ghost's touch. She was warm, soft.. Fragile...  _Broken..._

"You're not pathetic.. You never were.." 

Pushing her head against Janis' shoulder, Janis came to lean back against the tree. The autumn breeze swept through the field, rustling the leaves overhead as Regina brought herself to lay down between the older brunette's legs. Her head came to rest firmly in the crook of Janis' neck and the older girl sighed. Her hands slowly ran through Regina's hair, her eyes locked on the field ahead of them. The bell had run and the students had all gone inside. Janis had art next period.. She should be going in now.. But instead she sat there, holding Regina close to her. 

"I thought you didn't care about me anymore.." 

"And I thought you hated me." 

The truths were out. Both girls frowned at their own words, more so at the others. It was painful.. Knowing that after all this time they actually both missed each other. To go as far as tearing themselves apart, cutting themselves open till they couldn't feel their arms the next day.. Shaking her head at the thought, Janis threw caution to the wind. Placing a soft kiss down on Regina's forehead, her words left her lips softly, carrying on the wind so gentle.. 

"I could never hate you, Regina.. You may have broken my heart and ruined my reputation..But I could never hate you.. I love you, Regina.. There's no changing that." 

Sighing, Regina smiled at the small kiss against her head. Her head rested against Janis and she snuggled against her, Janis slowly resting her arm over the girl as the breeze blew by. It seemed as if it would go on forever.. The familiarity of the situation.. Remembering those cold nights when Janis would come to her at 3 in the morning or Regina would sit outside of Janis' house, crying as she texted the girl to come outside. It was all so familiar it hurt. Coming to her senses, Regina frowned as the thoughts began to cloud her mind. 

"I still care about you, Janis.. Now more than ever." 

Regina looked at the arm that wrapped around her, remembering each cut. The pain swept into her system, but she kept her emotions at bay as she let out a sigh, resting back against Janis. The warmth the girl gave her against the autumn breeze was beautiful in her eyes. A soft smile came to rest on her lips as she nuzzled her head further against the girl, grinning for a moment at the way Janis laughed. 

"Cold?" 

The nod Regina gave her made Janis smile as she slowly leaned off the tree, being mindful of the platinum blonde who rested on top of her. Stripping herself of her denim jacket, Janis swung it over Regina's shoulders. The younger junior smiled softly at the action, pushing further against Janis, hissing as she moved the wrong way, agitating the cuts that covered her stomach. Janis must've noticed as a frown slowly replaced her smile, her hand gently sliding down till it rested over Regina's stomach, almost protectively. 

"Half an hour till the day's over." 

Nodding her head to Regina's words, Janis sighed as she leaned back against the tree. She just watched the school. The leaves that were swept up by the breeze, how the sun cascaded across puddles and the glass.

"Think I can come over to get my jacket? I-I don't have to stay, I-I can leave right after, I don't even-" 

"Regina." 

Feeling lips press against her head, Janis felt tears in her eyes. Was this the last time she'd ever get to hold the girl..? Have her in the confines of her house? She knew she shouldn't be thinking so highly of just a small visit. The girl was only going over to get her jacket.. But something screamed out to Janis. With how nervous she was.. It sounded like she wanted to do more than just get her jacket. 

"You can come over anytime.. My place is always open to you.. Just because we broke up doesn't mean that if you need help you can't run to me." 

Smiling softly at that, Regina nodded her head against Janis' chest, humming her approval as she curled up the best she could. 

So it was set. After school, Janis was going to have Regina George in her house. They'd hop the fence to get out of school and then walk to Janis' place. No one could see them.. No one was allowed to see them. They had to keep it so quiet.. It almost scared Janis.. The thought of being caught, found out. She didn't want to ruin Regina's reputation. It was almost like having that forbidden piece of chocolate after Halloween. Forbidden love.. They weren't supposed to love each other.. But they did anyways.. Smiling at that, Janis ran her hand through Regina's hair as she looked out at the school. 

_And to think.. This all probably means absolutely nothing.._

**Author's Note:**

> Writing Times: 
> 
> Start Time: 
> 
> 9:57 AM   
> (I just woke up after having a horrible nightmare. Bear with how slow I write this, or it might go quick. Who knows. I might have to have a break in between if I end up actually breaking down and crying, but either way it's gonna get published. Gotta channel my emotions somewhere.) 
> 
> End Time: 
> 
> 11:13 AM   
> (Ow. I have a headache and I think this calls for a large break for the day.)


End file.
